"We should totally just stab Caesar!"
“Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus, and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs and peep about
To find ourselves dishonorable graves.
Men at some time are masters of their fates.
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
-Cassius, Julius Caesar Act 1 Scene 2, Shakespeare
It’s the Ides of March, and instead of Brutus and Cassius we have Chuck Schumer. Ten Democrats in the US Senate have caved to Republicans holding the government hostage with a threat of shutdown. Incredibly cowardly. I think the Senators should do something else.
“Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!” -Gretchen Wieners, Mean Girls
I did see the rest of the Shakespeare play, by the way. I know how it ends for Rome, and I know that the moral of the story is not to just start murdering important people. Not to worry, I am neither my ancestor nor Luigi. You can put me on a list if you want. It'll just help to obscure the real assassin.