Just because you have one gay friend doesn’t mean you can call me “girl”
I was standing behind her in the autographs line at a comedy show for a lesbian comedian. She was asking the opener “do you tour outside of [city]” and he was like “lol, say that again, slowly.” I was laughing, and maybe it was a little mean (but tour literally means more than one city?) and she turned around and was like “girl shut up.”
The Audacity of this straight white cis woman. I look like a man. I have a mustache. I know she was just treating me like she would treat a random cis gay man. But that does NOT mean she’s allowed to talk to me like that! She doesn’t know I’m trans, but that’s kind of my point, is you never know what someone’s been through. I’ve spent almost seven years asserting my masculinity against people way worse than her. She probably still thinks she’s an ally for going to her gay friend’s show or whatever.
I know for a fact if I was a certain type of straight man, if I was bigger or more intimidating, she would never call me “girl.” A man has a right to get offended by that; everyone should be allowed to be offended by blatant misgendering. What is that Mike Tyson quote? "Social media made y'all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it." Which is true, I wouldn’t hit a woman, but if they say I’m also a woman it seems fair…
Also even if someone said “girl shut up” to me as a woman, I would still be offended. That’s sexist and dismissive to say to an adult woman, let alone a man.
I'm still just struck by the rudeness of it all. At a queer comedy show, no less. It's been a minute since I've been misgendered but it still feels shitty!